Coyans in the Czech Republic

Do you ever feel like no one is listening to you? Today I felt that way, at work and at home. My students were crazy today and after 6th period, I thought I was going crazy, too. After school we went into town to the Christmas market and as we walked there I felt like I was talking to myself as my family walked ahead of me and I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Before bedtime, I was trying to get my kids to get in the shower and all I got was ignored. Today, I felt like I had alot of important things to say and alot of important reasons to say them...but no one cared. It was very frustrating.
This makes me ponder two things:
1. I am so glad that I am not God. I get easily frustrated. Thinking about how many times I choose not to listen to God, or simply don't take the time to hear Him and yet His patience and His love for me endures. I am hardly patient and I overreact and get angry so quickly.
2. Things that seem so very important to me may not hold the same importance to someone else. And how I say them can really make a difference as to how they are received. How does God speak to me and what does He say? He comes to me out of love and He speaks to me of things that have some meaning to me. Sometimes (often, if I am being honest) I bark commands at my children and roll my eyes at their responses. I interrupt my family all the time as they are speaking because I feel that what I have to say supercedes theirs. And, regretfully, I fail to listen intently, especially to my children.

When I speak to God I have assurance that I am being heard. I never get the feeling that He is rolling His eyes at me and my sad excuse of a prayer life. I feel heard and loved and cared for and still I don't listen. Yet, I expect others to listen to me, nay, to hang on every word as I order them around and aggressively insinuate my will upon them.

As I think about yesterday's post and how small gestures of love can make such a difference in a person's life I feel compelled to begin to really listen to others and to talk less, as an act of love.