Thursday, October 07, 2010

journey towards wisdom
day 5

Watch your step when you enter God's house.
Enter to learn. That's far better than mindlessly offering
a sacrifice, doing more harm than good.
Ecclesiastes 5:1

As a lazy person, it is far easier for me to mindlessly offer something than to seek to change and take the steps to change. Usually change requires effort and a humility that I often don't possess. Am I willing to admit that I don't measure up and that I require improvement? Am I willing to concede that I don't know it all and have much to learn? Do I recognize that God does not want to leave me in my current state, but instead wants to mold me into something useable that glorifies Him?

Help me, God, My Father, to own up to the fact that I need you. That my offerings and sacrifices mean less when I refuse to change, to repent and walk your way. Change me, change my heart and make me new. Help me to be teachable and strip away my pride. Amen.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

journey towards wisdom
day 4

It's better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there's no one to help, tough!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I could not have survived this last month without hiking in the woods with Danny. Getting out of the house, away from work, removed from the problematic situations and exercising does wonders. But the key to it is the time I get to spend alone with Danny just talking. He is a great support to me, an experienced sounding board and really wise when dispensing advice. I go to him when I have troubles because I know I am not strong enough to bear it alone, nor wise enough to sort it on my own. God is my refuge, my tower of strength and Danny is my partner on this earth. Together we work and we lift each other up when one is stumbling. There is joy in knowing that there is always someone who's got your back.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

journey towards wisdom
day 3

I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.

Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That's how it always is with God.
Ecclesiastes 3:14-15
God's plan is His plan. No ammendments, additions or subtractions necessary. My input isn't required, thank you very much. I can try to get around His plan, but I always seem to come back to it. I needn't understand or constantly have things explained to me. My questions, doubts and fears are dispelled as I trust in Him. He is good, righteous, loving and wise. He is a mystery and will not conform to my idea of what He should be or how He should behave. My mind knows only humanness and therefore cannot possibly comprehend His goodness and love. I have decided to shut up and follow.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

journey towards wisdom
day 2

Then I took a good look at everything I'd done, looked at all the sweat and hard work. But when I looked, I saw nothing but smoke. Smoke and spitting into the wind. There was nothing to any of it. Nothing.
Ecclesiastes 2:11

My self worth is wrapped up in what I accomplish. On a good day I have done much and feel worthy of praise for my deeds. On a bad day I accomplish little and feel worthless.

Two things are wrong with this: my works, good or bad are not worthy of anything. My deeds, no matter how noble and selfless they are, still come from me, a sinner whose purest intentions are still tainted. My self worth is poorly placed.
Doing good so that I might receive some praise or reward is sin. All that I do should be to His glory. He must be magnified, I, diminished. For only He is worthy of praise and any good that comes from me was first given by Him. All good originates from God. It is all His and to Him credit is due.

My sweat and hard work is purposeless unless I am following God and working towards His goals. Then everything I do is infused with His purpose and glorifies Him.

Where is my self-worth coming from and for whom am I striving to glorify with my work?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

journey towards wisdom
day 1

 I said to myself, "I know more and I'm wiser than anyone before me in Jerusalem. I've stockpiled wisdom and knowledge." What I've finally concluded is that so-called wisdom and knowledge are mindless and witless—
nothing but spitting into the wind.
Ecclesiastes 1:16-17

For a long time now I have felt far away from God, as if there was a clear film surrounding me. I could see where I wanted to be but not break through the barrier. It was causing me frustration and a general sense that my spirit was suffering, starving, drying up, and I could see the effects of it. Krista was coming through more often...the girl that I think is so cool and smart, so self-confident, but not good. Only God is good. During this season, I have been praying and seeking Him, not feeling anything, but still praying. Wanting. Waiting. Asking to be drawn closer.
God has answered my prayer, but in a far different way than I would have expected. A harder way. A beautiful way. My life is hardship for a time and I see that this is necessary for me so that I might run into His arms and be comforted. I seek after Him morning and night because it is a matter of survival. I cry out for wisdom so the day's challenges can be met. I am thankful beyond understanding for the answer to prayer.
God is taking me on a journey towards wisdom. A journey towards a closer walk with Him. He has brought me through the book of Ecclesiastes, day by day and His word is changing me. It is cutting me open and revealing the cancerous mass that needs to be removed. 
I am sick, flawed, imperfect. My own so-called wisdom and knowledge no longer makes the grade. It must be admitted, repented of and turned away from. Journey with me towards wisdom and ultimately, change. 

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

spoken gratitude

1. the IT Crowd...a fabulous British comedy program (programme, sorry). Moss and Roy are brilliant and completely mental!

2. our walking stick insect, Mr. Bean, laid eggs. We should be the happy parents of 200 new baby stick insects soon!

3. Scriffers coming home, like the Prodigal Cat. (He's happily purring curled up on my lap as I type this)

4. crisp autumn wind with blue skies and huge puffy white clouds.

5. dukatové buchtičky....yummy! (small sweet yeast biscuits in custard)

6. Free Cookie Tuesday at work...toll house cookies were featured yesterday. Plus, I received a coupon for a free mocha at the "cafe" for answering a question right at staff meeting. Score!


8. laughing out loud with our friends at our Bible study group, and fro new members coming.

9. making smores in front of the fireplace.

10. "Mame-shiba" japanese cartoon infomercials.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

september 21

Outside my window...perfect blue skies with large puffy white clouds, a chilly fall breeze that brings with it that singular spicy Autumn scent. And at night, BATS...hundreds of bats eating the mosquitos. It is a sight to see.

From the kitchen...Bekah's semi-homemade peanut butter cake with peanut butter-maple pecan icing. Yummy!

I am thankful understanding husband who listens to me and tries to ehlp me with my problems.

A thought I am pondering...We work to feed our appetites; meanwhile our souls go hungry. Ecclesiastes 6:7

I'm going...

I am reading..."Soul Cravings" by Erwin McManus. It talks about what we as humans desire and how to find fulfillment. It breaks the desires down into categories and we will be exploring each category with our Bible study group.

I am hearing...a happy cat purring on my lap. We are glad Scriffers is home.

Around the house...mosquitos. Every night they swarm around our heads...but don't bite...why? I guess they are just coming in to escape the outdoor buffet set up by the bats.

I am hoping...

A few plans for the rest of the week: checking out the new Marks and Spencer store in the city. Marks and Spencer was amazing. It is like having an awesome Macy'sand Target rolled into one, sort of. A wonderful thing to have here and a bit of a forget that you aren't in America until you step up to pay and the cashier is talking to you in Czech.

A picture thought I am sharing:

Civilisation! Yeah, baby!!